In | Me and Mine Project #12

June 2016

As awful as it sounds, I am so glad this month is over - we were certainly expecting June to be a full-on month and unbelievably we were even busier than anticipated.We've travelled triple our normal mileage, spent lots of time with friends (and even more in hospitals), celebrated special birthdays, survived this summer's heat wave and relied on G&T's. I honestly don't feel we've had chance to stop and breathe this month but in some ways that's maybe what I've needed to keep my mind busy, although July's empty calendar is filling me with sheer joy.

On the first, Ivy began some new medications, which really dictated the rest of the month to us. We have been back and forth between the Brompton and our local hospital for various reasons and finished off the month with a little inpatient stay on Rose Ward. We are very slowly beginning to truly understand the consequences of her latest issues and whilst all emotions are feeling very raw at the moment, I'd like to do a post solely on what's happening in the not too distant future.

All of this has quite simply added to my constant exhaustion and has not really improved my down and out mood at any speed but since getting it out in writing (even on the internet) I do feel like a massive weight has lifted off my shoulders. I do find it easy to carry on from day to day and most of the time I truly am the happiness and smiles I try to come across as but I'm not going to hide that I am still having my struggles too. It's funny what can trigger these short-lived outbursts - from a poor night's sleep to the horrific post-partum hair loss which has set in. Incase I did not have enough drama of my own to deal with, I have also surprised myself by allowing myself to get well and truly suckered into Love Island. I am slightly scared I am going through some kind of premature midlife crisis but I do feel confident that this is not forever and I'm willing to ride the storm knowing eventually it too, shall pass.

Teddy has gone from a 6 week old to a 6 month old boy in the space of a millisecond. Despite celebrating his quarter birthday just this last week, my giant chunk of tub is rolling all over the place, shouts at us until we stand him up on his feet, greeting us with the most beautiful smiles each time he wakes up from a nap and is really starting to find his little hands by playing with toys, teething bangles and self soothing with his whole fist in his gob.

Most importantly though, Michael, who I could not have survived this month without. He's going to be so cross with me for including him so personally in our monthly round up more than I often do but I could not be prouder of him. Not only has he held me and our family together this month, sat in soft play whilst reading medical papers, repainted our lounge, made sure we have enough water wipes to last until winter he's also managed to win himself an award at work. It's hard enough staying at home with these monkeys and juggling Ivy's medical life but to go out each morning in order to give us the world and all the absolute treats we have had this month is something else and I cannot thank him enough. It was a total honour to celebrate father's day this month (in a blimmin lovely new pub) with quite truly the most amazing dad on this planet - this month is yours x