5 Things | I Love About Being A Single Mama




Like most single parents, I didn't ever predict that this is the set up in which I'd be raising my child(ren). We all dream of falling in love,getting married and then the stork leaving a nice surprise at the perfect moment before a happily ever after but we are in the 21st century and it just doesn't always work out like that. But, I honestly couldn't be happier and we're in the best set-up possible for the both of us.

At times, I do feel like I'm cheating at the single parent game - although we have never been a couple, on the whole I am lucky enough to have a good relationship with Sam, Ivy's Dad (I must stress on the whole, we have definitely had some dire times which would have been far more frequent and far far worse if we'd attempted the bf/gf situation) He comes and spends the day with us once and week and he has been heavily involved in all aspects of Ivy's hospital care and we also have the most amazingly supportive family here in Oxford who love us both more than anything.

When it comes down to it though, I am a rightfully proclaimed 'single parent'. I raise, love and protect this small human without help from Sam atleast 6 and a half days out of the week and I have battled through every. single, endless. shitty night so why shouldn't I take the credit for it? Plenty of women and men undertake the most challenging and rewarding task of parenting alone (whether through choice or not) and although it ain't easy, it's not all bad either, so here's why I Love Being A Single Mama


1. Sleeping Arrangements
I've never enjoyed sharing my bed - awkward cuddling and attemped quilt stealing are not how I want to spend those golden ours in my 6 feet of heaven but since becoming a parent, my 'no boys allowed' rule has become even more relevant. When I decided to co-sleep, I knew I wouldn't have to make any compromises with anyone else and could have Ivy snuggled up with me every night safely.


2. Time Management
Being a full-time mama, it;'s not very often I get chance to have 'me-time' but when I do, that is exactly what it is, me time. A hot bath, blogging, or simply eating a whole tub of ice cream can be exercised freely without being judged on how I've decided to unwisely use those precious minutes that are baby free. On the flip, all other time is spent devoted to her and I love that. All my emotional efforts are channelled in to our relationship, exploring new things that we both learn from and enjoy and the buzz is kept alive simply by the joys of colouring together or discovering a new playground. She grows up so fast, I wouldn't want to sacrafice any of those hours to be without her, even the one's when shes a total pain in the backside.


3. The Future
There is a good reason me and Sam are not together. We get on so well (most of the time) and as parents, we certainly have a relationship that is more than 'just friends' but we would drive each other up the wall if we were to live together and that is definitely not an environment that we would want our daughter to be wrapped up in. By being apart from the off, we've provided Ivy with our very own version of a strong and stable family unit that works best for all of us which is also unlikely to be threatened by a relationship breakdown or divorce.


4. I Do It Myyyyyy Way
From weekend plans to the weekly shop, I don't have to contemplate anyone else's feelings or opinions other than my own when living my life, and in turn Ivy's, the way I feel is fit. I have always been fiercely independent and I have been happy to rely on motherly instinct whilst parenting so far. Am I doing it right all the time? No, and I'm more than happy to admit that and learn from my mistakes but atleast there's no smug face in the corner saying 'I Told You So'


5. I Get To Live With My Best Friend
Just because I don't live with a boy, doesn't mean I don't get to share my life with someone I love. I was lucky enough to be able to move back in with my own mama when I went on maternity leave and I wouldn't have wanted anyone else by my side through the good and the bad. Her advice has been indispenable and her support second-to-none. I don't rely on her to babysit or to take over when we're 2 hours deep of bedtime as she has her own full-time job and not-enough-time life to play by but she props me up in all the right ways, so I can be the best parent I can possibly be to Ivy.